Personal Relationship
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Dear Jade,

I'm in my early 30's and I just started dating a guy who is a senior in college. We've been dating for two months now, and we are progressing emotionally. But I'd like to get married and start a family soon, so I don't know if I should move forward with this guy since he's a bit young. What should I do?

Linda



HE SAID:

Dear Linda:

I was a college senior once and let me tell you that starting a family of my own after college was not my priority. While your maternal instinct is pushing you to procreate, are you sure this is what he wants? Most college seniors will be dealing with lame entry-level jobs, student loans or continuing to pursue their post-undergrad degrees. Being a daddy is not on most soon-to-be graduate's top ten list. If you are both from financially supportive families and you think he is "the one", then go for it. If not, "interview him" and ask him about his aspirations and career goals. Generally speaking, two months seems a bit too soon. Listen, a few tumbles in bed may be fun, but being a parent will require a higher degree of devotion.

SHE SAID:

Dear Linda:

Yes, he's young but that doesn't mean that he won't make great husband and father. However, even if you were with an older guy, it's still way too early to be thinking about marrying someone. Unless you've been stuck on a deserted island with this guy, you haven't spent enough time with him to really know him. Why not just enjoy things for the time being? It sounds like things are going well as they are.

But, if you must bring up marriage after only two months, you'll definitely know right away if he is marriage-material since he'll either freak and bolt or be open to the idea. Of course, that applies to guys of any age. 



BUT MAMA SAID:

Dear Linda:

He does sound like he is on the young side but as the saying goes, "age is only a number." You may have more in common with your boyfriend than with someone who is closer to your age. Is there something that is causing doubts in you about letting your relationship progress to the point where the discussion of marriage comes naturally? While it is always good to think of the future, if you are overthinking things at this early stage, perhaps you should take a step back and see what is really pushing you.
SUMMER 2015

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